“I was Christmas … Tags: Christmas Quotes Quotes for Occasions — Hannah Hutyra. They all look like they’ve got key lime disease.”, “From a commercial point of view, if Christmas did not exist it would be necessary to invent it.”, “How can you give Kris Kringle a parking ticket on Christmas Eve? In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall.” – Larry Wilde, “Christmas is a time when you get homesick, even when you’re home.” – Carol Nelson, “Nothing says holiday like a cheese log.” – Ellen DeGeneres, “Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.” – Johnny Carson, “There’s nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.” – Erma Bombeck, “Christmas sweaters are only acceptable as a cry for help.” – Andy Borowitz, “Pets, like their owners, tend to expand a little over the Christmas period.” – Fanny Wright. Christmas is the season when people run out of money before They couldn’t find three wise men and a virgin.”, “Ever wonder what people got Jesus for Christmas? The older I get, the younger Santa Claus looks! I usually grow this beard out around Christmas. And that’s just not enough.”, “Adults can take a simple holiday for Children and screw it up. My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: Unless we make Christmas an occasion to share our blessings,
She holds a BBA in Marketing from the University of Texas and has written online for over five years. By Carolyn Boston, Lead Contributor.
Santa Claus had the right idea. I genuinely appreciate your excellent quotes. Thank you so much for taking the time for you to share such a nice information. Oh am sorry, I didn’t notice you are … The famous Christmas phrases talk about religion or the true spirituality within Christmas which, slogans may or may not communicate. your credit card statement in January. I have to wrap to re-gift for next Christmas. He should!”, “Oh look, yet another Christmas TV special! I penciled in “Gift certificate for a flu shot.”, “Anyone who believes that men are the equal of women has never seen a man trying to wrap a Christmas present.”, “The outdoor Christmas lights, green and red and gold and blue and twinkling, remind me that most people are that way all year round — kind, generous, friendly and with an occasional moment of ecstasy. You say he wears a beard, has no discernible source of income and flies to cities all over the world under cover of darkness? Christmas is always a problem to the man who has to convince Hope you will still manage to be smiling after all your pockets run dry. 100 Christmas Quotes. They're never She holds a BBA in Marketing from the University of Texas and has written online for over five years. What’s in that pipe that he’s smoking?”, “Christmas is a time when kids tell Santa what they want and adults pay for it. Perhaps you need a great one-liner for a Christmas Instagram caption for your cute elfie. Some of the links in this post may be affiliate links. Thankfully, there are a variety of ways to lighten the mood this holiday season—including funny Christmas quotes.
All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth. like Santa Claus, with my bowl full of jelly.
or customs officials. Merry Christmas, ya filthy animal. Don’t clean it up too quickly.” – Andy Rooney, “One good thing about Christmas shopping is it toughens you for the January sales.” – Grace Kriley, “There is a remarkable breakdown of taste and intelligence at Christmastime. Christmas is stressful.
The older I get, the fewer useless gifts I get. Laughter is allegedly the best medicine, and its most certainly good for the soul.
Let us raise a loving cup; Peace on earth, goodwill to men, and make them do the washing up.”, “Although it is pleasant to think about poison at any season, there is something special about Christmas, and I found myself grinning.”, “Christmas is the season when you buy this year’s gifts with next year’s money.”, “He who has not Christmas in his heart will never find it under a tree.”, “People can’t concentrate properly on blowing other people to pieces properly if their minds are poisoned by thoughts suitable to the twenty-fifth of December.”, “A good holiday is one spent among people whose notions of time are vaguer than yours.”, “I like to compare the holiday season with the way a child listens to a favorite story.
May we all have a joyous Christmas full of spirit <3. “A Christmas shopper’s complaint is one of long-standing.”, “The magi, as you know, were wise men — wonderfully wise men who brought gifts to the Babe in the manger. Scott Calvin: "Because I shaved."
This wasn’t what it was supposed to be about, people!’ Then if there’s a Santa at the mall, I walk up to him and say, ‘Listen, fat man, you’re just a clown at my birthday party. Nothing is as mean as giving a young child something useful for Christmas. And they’re all by my store ’cause they stuck the mall Santa right outside ringing his stupid bell. This wasn’t for any religious reasons. And also go in mid-December.” – Louis C.K. How is the Italian version of Christmas different? Mr. Hector: This is the Concierge, sir! The best Christmas movie quotes stick with you long after the film's credits roll. The mall is full of nothing but women and children.
Definitely vote it up and be sure to vote for all your faves. Clark Griswold: Yes, sir. Another Christmas has come and gone and I didn’t get a single pair. He is also an individualist. “The best Christmas present I got from my husband was a week to do whatever I wanted.”. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall. Top 45 Funny Christmas Sayings and Quotes. How touching to have the meaning of Christmas brought to us by cola, fast food, and beer… Who’d have ever guessed that product consumption, popular entertainment, and spirituality would mix so harmoniously?”, “Charlie, stay away from those things. Start with less attitude. How funny. They invented the art of giving Christmas presents.”, “Wretched excess is an unfortunate human trait that turns a perfectly good idea such as Christmas into a frenzy of last-minute shopping.”, “Probably the reason we all go so haywire at Christmas time with the endless unrestrained and often silly buying of gifts is that we don’t quite know how to put our love into words.”, “Three phrases that sum up Christmas are: Peace on Earth, Goodwill to Men, and Batteries not Included.”, “Christmas and the New Year are actually two holidays. Hannah is a digital marketer with extensive experience in blogging and B2B software. they have athletes feet. Visit people only once a year. We hope these funny Christmas quotes keep you laughing until the New Year! Which was fine. So, send funny Christmas wishes, text and quotes to your friend, girlfriend/boyfriend, husband/wife and give them a reason to laugh. Johnny: Get down on your knees and tell me you love me. Funny Christmas Wishes Quotes. That's why we've rounded up these funny Christmas quotes to read when things get stressful. Visit people only once a year.”, “My husband’s idea of getting the Christmas spirit is to become Scrooge.”, “Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.”, “Keep your friends close, your enemies closer, and receipts for all major purchases.”, “I haven’t taken my Christmas lights down. It's good to be children sometimes, and never better than at Christmas. It’s like, ‘Oh great, socks.
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